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Messianic Nazarene Yisraelite Testimony of Pam Staley
By Pam Staley

Beginning the journey of 'truth' about 15 years ago, I set out to find out just who I was...growing up in a very catholic upbringing.. I had been thoroughly brainwashed to believe that it was 'others' who should be asking that question and then once realizing their mistake, convert to Catholicism. However, God touched my heart one Passover/Easter church service in an AOG church... I was only there under protest, and to please my mother who had had this 'born again' experience.

Well, needless to say, the Great "I AM" called to me that day, and my search for truth, which hereto had been deep into Edgar Cayce, Ruth Montgomery etc.., had now taken a turn. I was now reading a book that had before only been a coffee table decoration...the Bible. And I could not believe it...here, in this book, on every page I turned, in every chapter I read, in every sentence...was "truth". It was there for the reading...and the believing. 

But being a stubborn and stiff necked person...I still had many many questions, and I questioned God quite often. Even the most naive and childish questions were spoken out loud...for example...one of my very first questions was, 'ok, if this book is real and accurate...WHERE ARE THE DINOSAURS!' .. ok ok, I know.. stupid question...but they told me that it contained EVERYTHING... and even though God had touched my heart and drawn me near...I had to know the answers ... it is the character that he gave me. And for those of you wondering...yes, dinosaurs are in the bible, it says in Genesis that He made ALL THE CREATURES OF THE DEEP and EVERYTHING on the land...so, in my mind (and still) that covered just about everything...including dinosaurs.  But as the search continued, and the desire to know God deepened, I also found myself in a very disturbing position. No one in my catholic upbringing, nor  n the few 'word' churches that I was beginning to venture into, could answer my questions concerning the land, the people, and the reason for it's importance. Answers were 'spiritualized' in order to replace Israel, the bride, the city, the people....and actually, the answers sounded very good, very reasonable, and after all...these were MEN OF GOD...who was I?? nobody. But my Father also gave me something else....a small tiny red flag within me that shot up within every time something was said that colored the truth.. not that I paid attention to that 'voice' within every time...most of the time I hushed that voice and allowed myself to be drawn in to the half-truths that the MEN OF GOD were speaking. And I am afraid to say that it didn't just happen once or twice, but many many times...and still happens today ...... I believe that learning how to totally rely on God is a daily learning experience, the cross we must take up to die to ourselves daily.

However, God did direct me to some wonderful teachers, and I learned from each one. But when it finally dawned on me that no one really knew this book called the bible, it was because they didn't know the people, the culture, the fabric......the land........from a Hebraic perspective. In the beginning, I called it a Jewish perspective....I sat under rabbis, I attended classes at the local Jewish Community Center, I 'became' as a Jew...even to the point of searching out my ancestors in the desperate hope that I would find a 'Jew' lurking somewhere back there that would give me credibility, that would fill the longing to 'belong'. And in all this search, trying to hold my head up and act like I was 'just as good' even if I wasn't 'Jewish'. But deep down.... it did matter...I was jealous...I was not 'twice blessed' ... merely once blessed (you've heard that haven't you?)..         I would attend Messianic synagogues and be welcomed with open arms, smiles, hugs, etc...and yet...who lit the candles? who read the blessings? whose words were more intently listened to? who can be a FULL MEMBER and who a 'SPONSOR'? the Jew....the > gentile < ... yes, the > gentile < wore a yellow badge.. and the invisible patch was quite obvious. The wall was and still is very much intact. Even for all the good intentions, and all the explanations given concerning this atmosphere: the hundreds of years of repression and oppression, the agonies of the holocaust and the realization that it was their 'due' to be able to shout with joy and rejoice in their freedom of being Jewish and being one in Yahshua... these reasons too made 'sense' ... and were very real - and were acceptable - to my mind...but not my heart. My heart kept reaching out, my heart kept crying out to God. I needed a reason to understand in my HEART why Israel meant so much to ME, why the biblical feast days were being burned into MY heart and MY being, why I was obsessed with learning the truth from a Hebraic perspective...all of this goes against the tide, it slaps the face of 'Christianity' - it distances you from family and it separates you...and you 'don't belong' to either group. One can only play the game so long, and then you realize...the game has no winners. You can put on your happy face and say all the right things, and dance and sing and for a time be content... but as you drive home in your car.. and the night comes upon you and silence fills your soul....you again wonder...why me God? I'm not even JEWISH!

And you repeat out loud all the pat answers you have learned to quiet the questions...but still it is not enough. But God is a good and merciful God...and the truth is a never ending journey...each day brings new light to your eyes, and your heart. He has allowed me to stay in the land for many weeks at a time for the past 6 years...and the first time, of course was the most special... but I also knew that it was "my" land, my heritage, my homecoming. The people he set before me taught me many truths - from an older most wise Jewish believer, who has since passed on, who was as a first century rabbi and taught so vividly the truths of the bible and the plan of God to restore the House of Israel and bring the two houses together...WHAT you say? yes, so did I... what 2 houses?? to an orthodox Rabbi who two years later taught me the same thing...and that they were waiting for their brothers to recognize themselves and be drawn back to the land. I must admit.. I seized upon this information and read everything I could concerning the history of the 12 tribes of Israel. I studied the replacement theology of the 10 tribes, the false accusations by some groups, but I also found truth...thru Jew and NON-Jew alike.

And the message is clear, at least to me it is... the reason I have this undying love for Israel, for the biblical traditions, and for the Jew...is because it is not only spiritually my heritage.....but PHYSICALLY my heritage. I can not speak for others, but in my heart...just as I can not prove that I am saved, I can also not prove that I am one of the descendants of one of the 'other' tribes other than Judah (and possibly Judah, who knows?)...but I know - just as sure as I'm born from above, that I am literally of the seed of Abraham. Both are by faith. So then, you say, what now? Well, I don't know. God is revealing this truth to many many people in the last days, and as scripture says, the two sticks will become one in the hand of Joseph. The scriptures are full of this truth....but just as our previous programming and teaching denied the truth of our biblical heritage...we must admit, we are still babes learning how to walk... therefore, we must examine and search for truth amongst the 'new teachings' of our biblical heritage so that we will continue to grow and show ourselves approved. Some of the questions I pondered on may be of some value to those of you, who deep within, have not been able to quench the question....where do I belong?

1.) Why was the blessing that Ephraim (symbolizing the 10 tribes of the North) given by the HEBREW patriarch Jacob/Israel that Ephraim would become the FULLNESS OF THE GENTILES?? Have you ever thought about that? Why would any Israelite WANT that kind of blessing?? Unless God knew (and He did) that later the northern tribes would be assimilated into the nations, thus fulfilling prophecy...but nonetheless, those dispersed remained as Israelites and passed that onto future generations.

2.) There are 3 ways according to scripture in which an 'outsider' is JOINED to the commonwealth of Israel: Ex. 12:48 - celebrating Passover, circumcision, and sojourning....they were then to be considered NATIVE ISRAELITES.. Numbers 9:14 says that if they do this, there is only one statute, Ex. 12:49 states there is only one law for the citizen and the stranger and in Lev. 19:34, "The alien living with you must be treated as one of your native-born. Love him as yourself, for you were aliens in Egypt. NO DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE TWO. It was a perpetual statute. Are those of us who believe in the Messiah of Israel any less 'family' then the believing Jew? do we not remember the Passover, have been circumcised in our hearts and sojourn with the people? Does that not make us NATIVE ISRAELITES?....or do we ignore what God says because we can't 'prove' it? Are we not part of the HOUSE OF ISRAEL when we accept the Messiah of Israel?

3. God said he would make a NEW COVENANT ---- 'with the HOUSE OF ISRAEL" ---- he did not make one with the nations. To partake of this covenant, one JOINED the people of Israel. I have often also wondered about the scripture - 10 men (the 10 dispersed tribes??) would cling to the Jew...for the obvious to me is that the 10 have been assimilated and have followed foreign gods.. while Judah has continued to follow His precepts.. Ephraim has always outnumbered Judah - 10 to 1 (1 Kings 11:31,36 & 1 Samuel 11:8; Zech. 8:23) so does it not make sense that in the end days the dispersed 10 will return, repent, and learn again from their brother Judah?

4.) The early church in the first century was made up of thousands upon thousands of physically born Israelites.. surely they had numerous children throughout those years, and those children had children who had children who had children.....so how many drops of blood does it take? do you not consider yourself part Irish/English/Scotch and German (or whatever?)? then how can you NOT consider yourself part Israelite?

5.) God spoke "Lo-ammi. You are not My people" to the Northern Kingdom and declared an end to the kingdom (not the end of the people)..100 years later God said thru Jeremiah, "'Is Ephraim My dear son? ... I will surely have mercy on him'" (Jer. 31:20) God used Hosea's children to portray the condition of the Ephraimites and His ultimate plan for them. And God promised that one day they would be restored to become "THE SONS OF THE LIVING GOD"! Isn't that also what Paul tells us in Romans 9:24-26? That IN THE SAME PLACE that it was declared to them that they were NOT God's people...it would be said to them that they are now "The sons of the Living God?" (Read Zechariah, Hosea and Jeremiah and pay attention to the promises and prophecies directed at the two houses)

6.) Throughout scripture, from the beginning to the end.. it STILL speaks of TWO HOUSES...TWO NATIONS... TWO FAMILIES chosen for a purpose - the WHOLE house of Israel and the WHOLE house of Juda...(Jer. 13:11...

7.) Not all of Israel was, or is, called Judah!....The Tribe of Judah DOES NOT represent all of Israel...there are STILL TWO HOUSES... Now...I know this has been extremely long, and I pray that Eddie sees fit to post it, but for those of you who believe that I am trying to be "Jewish"...please believe me...I don't have to be...and I would also be content to just be a follower of the Messiah of Israel and spiritually identify with Israel and Judah, IF that had been HIS plan...but He has chosen to call me (and thousands of others) and reveal to them that they are truly PART of Israel, physically as well as spiritually...and that it is TIME for the brothers to recognize each other and join together ... Ephraim and Judah have always been at odds...and they still are...it is time for both sticks to be in the hand of Joseph (Messiah). I will close with one last thought, and will quote from Batya Wooten's book "In Search of Israel" ....it says it more eloquently than I ever could...please pray...and study it thru...but at the very least...do not call yourself a >> GENTILE CHRISTIAN << you can not be both - a HEATHEN - and a CHRISTIAN... you are simply a non-Jew. "...

The life that was in the Twelve Princes of Israel was in their blood. Today that bloodline is in that of their seed. Exactly where the bloodlines of the tribes of Israel have gone - only God knows. However, if the Creator of the universe chose to follow that line, it would be a simple thing for Him to do so. Assuming a new generation is produced every forty years, it would take only 100 fathers per person to go back 4,000 years to the time of Abraham. Remembering 100 fathers per person would be effortless for the God who numbers the hairs of our head. Surely there are countless millions in the Church who are bloodline descendants of the Twelve Tribes. Surely there are those who are descended from the Apostles. The thousands and thousands of early Church believers must have resulted in millions and millions of descendants. ... In light of that, how can we possibly believe that the fifteen million Jewish people of today fully represent the repeatedly blessed physical seed of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob! If today there are only 15 million identifiable physical descendants of Isaac - and 650 million descendants of Ishmael - then Isaac got only 1.76 percent of the physical blessing given Ishmael! The church must realize it cannot be entirely made up of former Gentiles. Literal millions must be physical descendants of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob! Thus, within the church there are countless millions of bloodline descendants of Israel!"

HOWEVER please remember this...while it is possible for one to be related to the FLESH that housed the Messiah, such a physical relationship will not save one from spiritual death. To live eternally in the presence of God, one must be born a second time of the Seed from above, becoming the Israel destined to live eternally. ------------------ I hope that at least one person was blessed by this....and that many will at least think on it... thank you for your time, and may HaShem guide you in all things....

Shalom,

Pam Staley
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